So I think it’s fair to say this week...that I’ve been doing Bex’s head in a little
✌️So I think it’s fair to say this week...that I’ve been doing Bex’s head in a little 😧
You see...I haven’t been giving her the space she needed to rest and recuperate in her own energy😴
Now...from what I’ve seen from treatments this week this seems to be a pretty common thread with us guys! Sound like any men you know ladies??
You know, I didn’t even see that this is what I was doing. I didn’t see that I couldn’t hear when she told me very clearly that that is what she needed because I haven’t been able to give that to myself. Like properly....like ummmm forever 😳
My mum, god bless her soul, I think finds me and Bex difficult to understand, she loves us by all means, but seems confused by the way we both stop, pause and tell each other what we need.
This can seem like some real “hippy dippy” nonsense to someone who’s spent there life in “on the go”!
I realised I’d taken her queue. How I’d choosen, perhaps unconsciously, to inherit that. The “the whole world will fall apart if I don’t worry about it” kinda mentality...sound familiar!?!?
I think a lot of men learn this from their mothers. That their mothers didn’t communicate their needs without guilt.
That men feel useless sometimes when they can’t actively serve another and when they hear their partner honestly say, without guilt, that they need to be left alone, that they can’t hear that because they weren’t shown how to do that for themselves.
That’s certainly how it’s been for me!
It was a bit of a shock to realise to be honest 😳
How I have often in all my relationships, badgered and tired the other to fulfil this need for me as I wasn’t able to do it for myself!
How tired I make myself and how I don’t take time to just let things rest and settle but instead want to be “active” in resolving everything.
And the guilt and pressure that I put on myself from thinking of my wellbeing alone. It has been said of me lol that I’m a bit of a perfectionist and like to overwork stuff 😆
Also...trying to not loose myself in that black hole of guilt for how I’d really missed the mark in not giving Bex what she needed this week. Because if I did sink into that...well...then I wouldn’t be able to change it would I!?
The shop, our business, the kids, our relationship...has made me grow up fast!
But I love it 😍 because I don’t feel I’m growing up above the world...but rather outwards into it.
In Bex I found my greatest teacher. She shows me more and more each day just how to be myself, and I get to love her, myself and everyone else in the world all the more for it!
Here are to those who tell their truth.
Here is to those who we can tell our truth, and listen.
Here is to those who listen and love us all the more for it.
Find your truth.
And speak it for it to be heard.